I'm sorry that I only seem to talk to you when I'm sad, or confused, or pensive. Something just happened to me. I played a role in a show that I've loved for years. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have even had the opportunity to get to do it. I played a bride who calls off her wedding (I couldn't think about you when I did it). But the script talked a lot about love and relationships, so you have been on my mind.
Every night before my scene, I would walk and pace and look genuinely insane because my song was so frightening to me that I wasn't sure if it would work that night. During one performance, I looked at one of the women helping with stage crew and I told her, "I'm so afraid." She put her hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the face and said, "If I were you, I wouldn't be afraid of anything." If she was me. I have never in my life felt so brave.
I realize that there are a lot of things that I am afraid of. I'm afraid you won't come. I'm afraid I won't find a career. I'm afraid that things won't get better than they are right now. I know that she was talking about a show, but I'm going to try to take that more to heart. I mean it's only written 100 times in the Bible. Do not be afraid... every angel's opening line.
I know that this one didn't have a lot to do with you. I think I needed to just sort things out. I know that you will be along soon and then we will have time. I cannot wait for that.
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