January 29, 2009*

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Oh, I don't know, nothing in particular. The past few weeks I've been anxious. But I guess its silly to tell a book that my husband needs to hurry up because I'm lonely and out of practice being in a relationship. Silly, like I said before.

So I just sat here and read some love letters by famous people in history- painters, writers, politicians, etc. and I realized several things. Basically, technology has killed the love letter. A love text or a love voice mail are not the same, and that's very sad. Also, I realized that I can't fathom how these people can so eloquently put their thoughts into words. It may be just because I haven't felt it like that, but love seems so intangible to me, apparently it's easier than I assumed to write it.

All of these lines about love and beauty and so many describe being apart as physical pain that threatens to rend them into pieces if they cannot be with the one they love. Two halves of one living, breathing organism that cannot operate independently... and a loneliness that transcends.

I wonder, do you think its possible to ache over someone you haven't met? To hurt because you don't know how their arms feel, or what their smile looks like, or how it feels when their lips brush against your cheek? I think its possible, and I know it sounds crazy. But I sit here, and even though you're a stranger to me. Right now I may be even less than that to you, less than the smallest thought in the back of your mind. Still, I know I was created to love you and some part of me is missing because you haven't given it to me yet. So I wait for you to come and make me into who I am supposed to be, to let me love you, and to love me back. You always have all of me,



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