April 2, 2005

Know what, I've been scaring myself with talk about the future lately.

Danielle and I told each other what we thought the others' life would be like. I said she's going to end up as a Pastor's wife, with a big, white house in the suburbs, and 5-7 kids. A sitcom life. She said that I'm going to be a successful designer in downtown Manhattan, and I'm probably going to live in a modern loft there with my husband, who she thinks is going to be a CEO of sorts and 1-2 kids. Rather glamorous, huh?

Maybe it'll turn out like that but most likely not. Hey, whatever God wants is okay with me because I've learned enough to realize that what he wants is best anyway.

About the kids thing though, I think she's right. To be honest, where I stand right now I don't want to have any of my own kids. But I do want a family, so as it stands recently, I've thought about adopting. And I think that I'd really like to do that, maybe before I have my own kids. So I don't know, its something we can talk about later, right?

Hmm, I have less than 100 pages left. I better either find you soon, or write less.

Know what scares me about getting married? Not that I won't find Mr. Right or anything, but C___ said that when you get married, you become one flesh, (duh) so the male takes over the leadership role, even from hearing God... just like God acts like my husband now. I don't know about that, I mean, maybe i misunderstood her, it was a long time ago, but I'm an intercessor, and I'm beginning to see things prophetically, and God speaks to me, and I don't want that to stop or lessen because you have the responsibility to hear instead of me. That scares me the most.

It's 11:30PM and I have church tomorrow. Love you, Goodnight.